This day, (when thou hast made the sign of the Cross, and prepared thyself hereunto,) thou hast to meditate upon the mystery of the Cross: And upon those seven words, which our Savior spake being crucified on the same.
THE TEXT OF THE HOLY EVANGELISTS.
They came (saith the holy Evangelist) to the place called Golgotha, that is to say: the place of dead mens skulls. And they gave him vinegar to drink mingled with gall. And when he had tasted thereof, he would not drink. It was then three a clock. And they crucified him, and with him two thieves, one at the right hand, and the other at the left. And so was the scripture fulfilled, that saith. And he was reckoned among the wicked. And Pilate wrote also a title, and put it upon the Cross. And it was written: Jesus of Nazareth king of the Jews. This title many of the Jews did read. For the place where Jesus was crucified, was near to the city: and it was written in Hebrew, Greek, and Latin. Then said the high priests of the Jews to Pilate: write not: The king of the Jews, but that he said, I am king of the Jews. Pilate answered: What I have written, I have written.
Then the soldiers when they had crucified Jesus, took his garments, and made four parts, to every soldier a part. And they took his coat also, which was without any seam, woven from the top throughout. Therefore they said one to an other. Let us not divide it, but cast lots for it, whose it shall be. This was done, that the scripture might be fulfilled, that saith. They parted my garments among them, and upon my coat they cast lots. So the soldiers did these things indeed.
And they that passed by reviled him, wagging their heads, and saying: Fie on thee, thou that destroyest the temple, and buildest it in three days, save thyself. If thou be the son of God, come down from the cross. Likewise also the high priests, mocking him with the Scribes, and elders, and Pharisees, said. He saved others, but he cannot save himself. If he be the king of Israel, let him now come down from the Cross, and we will believe him. He trusteth in God. Let him deliver him now, if he will have him. For he said: I am the son of God. The very same words also, did the thieves, that were crucified with him, cast in his teeth. But Jesus said: Father pardon them, for they know not what they do.
And one of the malefactors, that was crucified with him, blasphemed, saying: If thou be Christ, save thyself, and us. But the other answered, and rebuked him, saying: Neither dost thou fear God, being in the self same condemnation? We are justly punished: for we receive according to our doings. But this man hath done nothing amiss. And he said unto Jesus. Lord, remember me, when thou comest into thy kingdom. Then Jesus said unto him. Verily I say unto thee, This day shalt thou be with me in paradise.
There stood by the Cross of Jesus, his mother, and his mothers sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene. And when Jesus saw his mother, and the disciple whom he loved standing by: he said unto his mother: Woman, behold thy son. Then he said to the disciple: Behold thy mother. And from that hour, the disciple took her for his mother.
About the ninth hour, Jesus cried with a loud voice: saying: Eli, Eli, Lamasabacthani: that is: My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? And some of them that stood there, when they heard it, said. This man called Elias. Some other said: let us see, if Elias will come and save him.
Afterwards, Jesus knowing that all things were fulfilled, that the scripture might be accomplished, said: I am a-thirst. And there was set a vessel full of vinegar, and they filled a sponge with vinegar, and put it about an hyssop stalk, and put it to his mouth. Now when Jesus had received of the vinegar, he said: It is finished.
And he cried again with a loud voice, and said: Father into thy hands I commend my spirit. And from the sixth hour there was darkness over all the earth until the ninth hour. And the veil of the temple was rent in two parts, from the top to the bottom. And the earth quaked, and the stones were cloven. And the graves opened themselves, and many bodies of the Saints, which slept, arose. And there were many of his friends, and acquaintance, and women beholding him afar of. Among whom was Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James the younger, and of Joseph, and Salome, who had followed him out of Galilee, ministering unto him: with many other women, that came in his company to Jerusalem.
MEDITATIONS UPON THESE POINTS OF THE TEXT.
We are now come (O my soul) to the holy mount Calvary, and we be now arrived at the top of the mystery of our redemption. O how wonderful is this place! Verily this is the house of God, the gate of heaven, the land of promise, and the place of salutation. Here is planted the tree of life. Here is placed that mystical ladder that Jacob saw, which joineth heaven with the earth, whereby the angels do descend unto men, and men do ascend unto almighty God. This is (O my soul) the place of prayer. Here oughtest thou to adore and bless our Lord, and give him most humble, and hearty thanks for this his most high and excellent benefit: saying thus unto him.
We worship and adore thee O Lord Jesus Christ, and we bless thy holy name, forsomuch as thou hast by means of this holy Cross redeemed the world. Thanks be given unto thee O most merciful Savior, for that thou hast thus loved us, and washed away our sins with thy most precious blood, and hast offered thyself for us upon the same Cross: to the end, that with the most sweet savour of this noble sacrifice, enkindled with the fire of thy most fervent love, thou mightest satisfy, and appease the wrath of Almighty God. Blessed be thou therefore for evermore, which art the Savior of the world: the reconciler of mankind: the repairer of Angels: the restorer of the heavens: the triumphant conqueror of hell: the vanquisher of the devil: the author of life: the destroyer of death: and the redeemer of them, that were in darkness, and in the shadow of death.
All ye therefore that be a thirst, come unto the waters, and ye that have neither gold, nor silver, come, and receive all these precious treasures freely, without paying any thing. Ye that desire the water of life, this is that mystical rock, that Moses stroke with his rod in the wilderness, out of which there sprang water in great abundance, to satisfy the thirst of his afflicted people. Ye that desire peace, and amity with almighty God, know ye that this is also that rock, that the patriarch Jacob anointed with oil, and erected up for a title of peace, and amity, between almighty God, and men. Ye that are desirous of wine, to cure your wounds, this is that cluster of grapes, that was brought out of the land of promise into this vale of tears, which is now crushed, and pressed upon the press of the Cross, for the remedy and redress of our offences. Ye that desire the oil of the grace of God, know ye likewise, that this is that precious vessel of the widow of Elizeus, full of oil, wherewith we must all pay our debts. And albeit the vessel seem very little to serve so many, yet look not to the quantity, but to the virtue thereof: which is certainly so great, that so long as there be vessels to fill, so long will the vein of this sacred licour always run, and never cease.
A CONTEMPLATION upon the mystery of the Cross.
Awake, I pray thee now (O my soul,) and begin to contemplate upon the mystery of this holy Cross, by the fruit whereof the hurt of that poisoned fruit is repaired, which the forbidden tree caused unto us, through the offence of the first man Adam. As the bridegroom hath signified to his spouse in the Canticles, when he said: I have raised thee up my spouse, from under the tree, because under an other tree thy mother was corrupted, when she was deceived by the ancient serpent.
Consider then, how when our Savior came to this place, his cruel enemies to make his death the more reproachful, stripped him of all his apparel, even to his innermost garment, which was wholly woven throughout without any seam. Behold now here, with what meekness this most innocent lamb suffereth himself to be thus stripped of all his garments, without opening his mouth, or speaking so much as one word against them, that handled him with such villainy: But shewed himself rather very willing, and ready, to be spoiled of his garments, and to remain naked to the shame of the world: to the intent that the nakedness of such as had through sin lost the garments of innocency, and grace received, might be covered after a better sort, than with the leaves of the fig tree. Some holy fathers report, that the tormentors in plucking of our Saviors garments, took of his crown of thorn, which then stuck fast on his head, and that afterwards when they had stripped him stark naked, they set it on again, and fastened the sharp thorns to the brain pan afresh, and so made new holes, and wounds therein, which was an exceeding great grief, and pain unto him. And undoubtedly thought, that they would use this kind of cruelty against him, forsomuch as we are well assured, that they used many others, and those very strange, in all the process of his passion: especially considering, that the holy Evangelist saith, that they did unto him, whatsoever they would.
Again, by reason of his garment, that stuck fast to the wounds of his scourgings, and blood, which was now congealed unto the same, at what time they pluck it of from his body, (as those caitiffs were far from all piety, and mercy) they haled it of with such furious haste, and force, that they loosed, and renewed, all the sores of his whippings in such rueful wise, that his blessed body was in all parts open, and as it were flain, and became all one great wound, out of which distilled blood on all parts.
Consider now here (O my soul,) the excellency of the goodness, and mercy of almighty God, which sheweth itself so evidently in this mystery. Consider, how he that clotheth the heavens with clouds, and adorneth the fields with flowers, and beauty, is here spoiled of all his garments. Consider how the beauty of the Angels is here defiled: how the height of the heavens is here brought low: how the majesty and omnipotency of almighty God is here abased, and put even to open shame, and reproach. Behold, how that royal blood distilling out from his brain, trickleth down all along by the hair of his head, and by his sacred beard, insomuch as it watereth, and dyeth the very ground under him. Consider what extreme cold that holy tender body of his suffered, standing as he stood, all rent, and spoiled, not only of his garments, but also even of his very skin, having withal so many gapes and wide holes of open sores, and deep wounds throughout all his blessed body. For if St. Peter notwithstanding he was both clothed, and shod, felt cold the night before: how far greater smart and cold did that most tender body of our Savior abide, being so naked, and full of sore bruises and wounds as it was?
Whereby it appeareth that albeit our Savior in all the whole course of his life gave unto us so wonderful examples of nakedness, and poverty: yet at his death he gave himself unto us, as a most perfect pattern and spectacle of this virtue. Forsomuch as at that time he was in such a poor case, that he had no place whereupon to rest his head. And to give us to understand, that he had taken nothing of the world, he died naked upon the cross, and had nothing of the world to cleave unto him.
According to this example, we read of the blessed holy father St. Francis, who was such a perfect and true follower of this poverty of our Savior Christ, that at what time he should give up the ghost, he stripped himself stark naked of all he had upon him, and threw himself from his bed upon the bare ground, and being thus naked, he embraced the earth, to imitate herein (as a faithful servant) the nakedness, and poverty, of his Lord, and Savior. Awake therefore (O my soul,) awake now I pray thee, and learn thou also hereby, to imitate our Savior Christ, poor and naked. Learn to despise all such things as this transitory world may give unto thee, that thou mayst be worthy to embrace our Lord naked, with naked arms, and be united unto him by love, which ought also to be naked, without mixture of any other strange love.
HOW OUR SAVIOR was nailed upon the cross.
Consider after this, how our Savior was nailed upon the Cross, and how passing great grief, and torment, he suffered at that time, when those great, and square nails were driven in, and pierced through the most sensible, and tender parts of his most blessed body, which was of all bodies most tender, and delicate. And consider also, what an extreme grief it was to the blessed virgin, when she saw with her eyes, and heard with her ears, the mighty and cruel hard strokes, which were so often, and so think laid on, and iterated one after an other upon his divine members. For certainly those hammers, and nails as they passed through the hands of the son: so did they also pierce the very heart of his most tender, and loving mother.
Consider moreover, how they hoised up the Cross on high, and how when they went about to ram it in the hole, which they had made for that purpose (such was the cruelty of those tormenting raging ministers) that at the very time of rearing it up, and placing it therein, they let it fall furiously from them, with a jump into the hole, with all the weight thereof. And so all his blessed body was sore shaken and jogged up and down in the air, and thereby his wounds were widened, and enlarged, and his pains and griefs more increased.
Now therefore (O my sweet Savior, and redeemer,) what heart is so stony hard, that will not rive in sunder for very sorrow, and grief, sith the very stones themselves were riven the same day, considering the extreme pain, that thou sufferedst on the Cross?
The sorrows of death O Lord, have compassed thee about, and the waves of the Sea have overwhelmed thee: Thou art mired in the depth of the bottomless gulfs, and findest nothing whereupon to stay thyself. Thy father (O Lord) hath forsaken thee: what hope mayst thou have of men? Thy enemies make outcries against thee: thy friends break thy heart: thy soul is afflicted: and for the love thou bearest to me, thou wilt not admit any manner of comfort. Undoubtedly (O Lord) my sins were very great, and heinous, and that doth thy penance well declare. I see thee O my king fastened to a tree, and there is nothing to sustain thy body, but only three iron nails, whereupon thy sacred flesh hangeth, without any other stay, or comfort. When the weight, and sway of thy body stayeth upon thy feet, then are the wounds of thy feet the more torn, and enlarged, with the nails wherewith they are pierced. Again, when the weight of thy body stayeth upon thy hands, then are the wounds of thy hands the more rent, and enlarged also, with the poise of thy body. One of thy members cannot succor an other, but with equal prejudice, either of the one, or of the other. Now as touching thy holy head, being thus tormented, and weakened with the sharp crown of thorns, what pillow hath it to rest upon? O how well might thy arms (O most excellent virgin) be here employed to supply this office! But alas thine arms may not serve at this present, but only the arms of the Cross. Upon them must our Savior stay his sacred head when he will rest: and yet so, that the ease he taketh thereof is nothing else, but a further driving in of the thorns, and fastening of the same deeper into the brain. Besides all this, I see those four principal wounds, as it were four fountains, always distilling out blood. I see the ground all besprinkled and bedewed round about with blood. I see that most precious licour all betrampled, and shed upon the earth, which crieth much better, than did the blood of Able. For his blood cried for vengeance against the murderer, but this most precious blood of thine O sweet Jesus, craveth pardon for sinners.
OF THE COMPASSION, the son had upon his mother: and the mother upon her son, hanging upon the Cross.
The sorrows of the son were much increased, by reason of the presence of his most blessed mother, wherewith his doleful heart was no less crucified within, than his holy body without. Two crosses be here prepared for thee (O good Jesus) this day. The one for thy body, and the other for thy soul. The one is of passion, and the other of compassion: The one pierceth thy most blessed body with nails of iron: the other pierceth thy most holy soul with nails of sorrow. Who is able to declare (O sweet Jesus,) what an unspeakable grief it was unto thee, when thou didst consider the great anguishes of the blessed soul of thy holy mother, which thou knewest so certainly was crucified with thee on the cross! When thou sawest her pitiful heart pierced, and thrust through with the knife of heaviness, and sorrow! When thou didst open thy bloody eyes, and beheldest her divine face, wholly overcast with paleness, and wanes of death! When thou sawest those most grievous pains, and anguishes of her mind, which was not resolved with death, and yet abode greater pains, than the very pains of death itself! When thou beheldest those rivers of tears, which gushed out from her most pure eyes, and heardest those so lamentable deep sighs, and sobs, which burst out of her sacred breast, being enforced with the vehemency of her most grievous heaviness, and sorrow! Certainly O Lord, it can not be expressed with words, how much this invisible cross tormented thy most pitiful heart.
And who is able to declare also (O most blessed mother,) the greatness of the sorrows, and anguishes of thy doleful heart. When thou sawest him die with such grievous torments, whom thou sawest born with so great joy? When thou sawest him scorned, and blasphemed of men, whom there thou sawest praised of the angels? When thou sawest that holy body, which thou hadst handled with so great reverence, and brought up with such motherly tenderness, and cherishings, so evil entreated and tormented by most wicked persons? When thou beheldest that divine mouth of his, (which thou hadst nourished with the milk of heaven) distempered with the bitter taste of gall, and vinegar? When thou didst also behold that divine head, (which thou hadst so often times laid and rested on thy virgins breast,) all to begored now with blood, and crowned with thorns? O how often didst thou lift up thine eyes on high, to behold that divine shape, that had so often times rejoiced thy soul in beholding the same! And how often again did thine eyes turn aside from him, because the tenderness of thy heart could not abide to see that doleful sight!
What tongue is able to express the greatness of this sorrow? If the souls that love our Savior Christ truly, and unfeignedly, when they meditate upon these sorrows being now past, have such a tender compassion upon him, what didst thou then O most blessed virgin, being his mother, yea and more than a mother, when thou sawest presently with thine eyes such a son, suffer such a most cruel, and painful passion? If those women that accompanied our Savior when he went with his Cross towards his death, being neither of kin, nor of acquaintance unto him, did weep, and lament, to see him go after such a pitiful sort? How great then was the abundance of tears that fell from thine eyes O blessed mother, when thou sawest him, who was so dearly beloved unto thee, not only carrying the Cross on his shoulders, but nailed also fast upon it, and hoised up aloft upon the same?
And albeit these thy griefs, and sorrows were so great, yet didst not thou (O blessed virgin) refuse the company of the Cross, neither wouldst thou turn thy back, but stoodest there even hard, and fast by the same, and not falling down in sounds, nor yet overthrown to the ground, but like a strong pillar standing upright upon thy feet, beholding with inestimable sorrow, and heaviness of mind thy dear son crucified on the cross: to the end, that like as Eve by beholding with delight that fruit, and tree of death, was the occasion of the perdition of the world: even so thou (O blessed Lady) by beholding with great grief, and sorrow, the fruit of life, which then was hanging upon that tree of the Cross, mightest with thy presence, and eyes, there see the remedy, and redemption of the world.
AN OTHER MEDITATION of the doctrine, that may be learned at the foot of the Cross.
The holy Evangelist saith, that there stood hard by the Cross, Mary the mother of Jesus: and his mothers sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas: and Mary Magdalene. O that I were so happy, that I might stand in the company of these three blessed Marys always at the foot of the Cross! O ye blessed Marys, who hath caused you to stand so constantly at the foot of the Cross? What chain is this, that thus holdeth you so fast linked unto this holy tree? O sweet Christ, which being dead, dost mortify the living, and givest life to the dead! O ye Angels of paradise, be not offended with me, though I a sinner, and a very wicked person, be so bold to come, and join with this holy company: because the love I bear to my sweet Savior draweth me unto them, and the very same love enforceth me to embrace this cross. If these three Marys will not depart from the cross, how can I depart from thence, knowing that all my weal, and salvation, consisteth in the same?
Assuredly the fire shall first wax cold, and the water shall naturally become hot, before my heart shall depart from this cross: sithence I understand what a lesson the love of God teacheth me: to wit: How happy a thing it is, to stand always at the foot of the cross. O holy cross, thou drawest the hearts of men unto thee more strongly, than the Adamant stone draweth iron! Thou givest a more clear light to our understanding, than the sun doth to our eyes. Thou enkindlest a more fervent heat in our souls, than fire doth in the very coals. Draw me therefore (O holy cross) unto thee, with great force, and might. Illuminate me continually, and enflame me with thy mighty power, that my thought and mind may think upon none other thing, but only upon thee, and may never depart from thee. And thou O good Jesus, illuminate the eyes of my soul, that I may understand how to look and fix mine eyes, and thoughts, upon the cross: to the end, that I may not only behold the cruel pains, and torments, thou hast suffered for me, and so by beholding them, take compassion of them: But also consider the examples of so many wonderful virtues, as thereby thou hast discovered unto me, and invited me to imitate, and follow the same.
Wherefore O most wise master, and instructor of the world! O physician of souls! Here I come to the foot of thy cross to present unto thee my sores, and wounds. Heal me O my most merciful, and omnipotent Lord, and teach me what I ought to do. I do confess, and acknowledge plainly unto thee (O Lord) that I am very sensual, and given overmuch to the love of myself, and I see well that this greatly hindereth my profiting, and proceeding in virtue, and godliness. Many times for my recreation, and pastimes sake, or for fear of the pain of fasting, and rising up early in the morning, I pass over, and do leese the godly and devout exercises of prayer, and meditation, with other holy spiritual exercises: by the loss whereof, I leese myself also. This sensuality of mine is very importune upon me. It would fain eat and drink very finely, and delicately, at such hours, and times, as it liketh: and after dinner, and supper, it would gladly have some idle talk, or else some pastime, and recreation. It delighteth at such times to be walking in a fair green garden, or orchard, and there to take some solace, and pleasure. Teach me now (O my most loving Savior, and redeemer,) what I ought to do, whereby to follow thy example: and help me with thy grace, that I may perform my duty in this point. O what a great shame is it unto me, to see after what sort thou didst handle thy blessed body, which was more tender, and delicate, than all other bodies! In the midst of the most bitter anguishes, and grievous torments of thy death, thou didst not give unto thy body any other food, or electuary, but such as those cruel apothecaries had compounded of bitter gall, and sour vinegar for thee. Who then will from henceforth have any tongue to complain, that the meat set before him is either too cold, or too salty, or too fresh, or not well dressed, or that it was over late, or too timely made ready: considering what a table was here prepared for thee, O my almighty God: and that in the time of so great necessity? In steed of the mirth, and pleasant talk, and entertainment, which I seek to have at my suppers, and feasts, thou hadst none other, but only outcries and clamorous noises of them, which shaking their heads at thee, scorned, and blasphemed thee: saying: Fie on thee, that destroyest the temple of God, and in three days buildest it up again. This was the music, and minstrelsy of thy banquet: and thy walking in a garden, was to be fast nailed hands, and feet to the cross. And albeit there was an other garden, into which thou wentest after thou hadst ended thy supper, yet was it not to walk in for pleasure, but to pray: not to take the air, but to shed blood: not to recreate thyself, but to be pensive, and sad, and in a great agony of death. Now what shall I say of the other ease, and refreshings, which thy blessed flesh had? My flesh would gladly have a soft bed, curious and costly apparel, and a large and wide house. Tell me now (O my sweet Savior,) what manner of bed hast thou? What manner of house hast thou? And what is thy apparel? Thy apparel is nakedness, and a purple coat of mockery, and reproach. Thy house is none other, but to stand openly abroad in the sun, and air. And if I seek for any other, I find it to be nothing else, but only a stable for beasts. The foxes have their holes, and the birds of the air their nests, and thou that art the creator of all things, hast no place where to rest thy head. O curiosity, and superfluity! How are ye two crept in, and so usually, and universally received in this our corrupt age, throughout all the countries, and nations, of Christendom! O what manner of Christians be we, that do not utterly abandon from us, all manner of fine daintiness, curiosity, and superfluities, knowing that our Lord, and master, utterly abandoned from him, not only all manner of daintiness, and superfluities, but also even such things, as were of necessity!
I desire now O Lord to see also what manner of thing thy bed is. Tell me (O sweet Savior) where dost thou lodge? Where sleepest thou at noon day? Here I set myself at thy feet: Teach me I most humbly beseech thee, what I ought to do. For this my sensuality will not suffer me to understand well this language of thy cross. I desire a soft bed, and if I awake early in the morning at the hour of prayer, and divine service, I suffer myself to be overcome with sloth, and drowsiness, and I expect duly for the morning sleep, that my head may take an other nap, and so have his full ease, and rest. Tell me O my most gracious, and loving Lord, what rest hadst thou on that hard bed of the cross? When thou wast weary in lying on the one side, how didst thou turn thee on the other, to take the better rest? What heart is not overcome and broken in sunder herewith? What? Is this not enough to kill all sensuality in us? O what a comfort is this to the poor! What a confusion to the rich! What an encouragement to the penitents! And what a condemnation to nice, delicate, and sensual persons! Certainly the bed of our Savior Christ is not for such fine delicate wantons, neither is his glory in heaven prepared for them. Give me grace (O Lord) that I may by thy example mortify this my sensuality. And if it be not thy blessed will to grant me this request, I beseech thee then even now out of hand to end my life. For it is not meet, nor seemly, that thou, (O my omnipotent Lord, and redeemer) being upon the cross, and having none other comfort, nor refreshing, but only bitter gall, and sour vinegar, I should seek for sweet savors, delicate fare, sugared sauces, with other curious dainties, pleasures, and ease, in this miserable life. It is not meet that thou being thus poor, and naked, I should go wandering and leesing myself after the transitory goods and riches of this world? It is not reason that thou having none other bed, but only the hard and painful cross, I should seek to have a soft bed, and other delicacy, and ease, for my wretched body.
Be thou therefore greatly ashamed, O my soul, beholding our Lord, and Savior, on the hard painful tree of the cross, and make accompt, that from the same cross he preacheth unto thee, and rebuketh thee: saying: O man I have for thy sake worn a crown of thorns: and dost thou in contempt of me wear a garland of flowers, with golden chains, aglets, brooches, and gay ostrich feathers? I for thy sake have stretched forth my arms to be nailed, and tormented upon the cross: and dost thou stretch forth thine to pleasant games, and pastimes? I being a thirst at my very death, had not so much as a little cold water, and seekest thou after precious wines, delicate meats, and dainty sugared sauces? I was on the cross, and in all my whole life time, full of dishonors, reproaches, and grievous labors, and pains, and dost thou spend all the days of thy life seeking after dignities, offices, promotions, estimations, pleasures, and delights? I was very willingly contented, that my side should be opened to give thee my very heart, and hast thou thine open to vain and dangerous loves of the world?
WHAT PATIENCE WE OUGHT TO HAVE IN ALL troubles, and adversities, following the example of our Savior Christ.
Thou hast taught me now O Lord from the chair of the Cross the laws of temperance: teach me also at this present the laws of patience, whereof I have surely very great need. Thou hast cured that part of my soul, which is called concupiscible: Cure also I beseech thee, that part, which is called irascible. Forsomuch as thy cross is a medicine for all the whole man, and the leaves of that holy tree are the health of all nations.
Some times I have said, and purposed within myself: I will never from henceforth fall out, or be angry again with any man: I will surely keep peace with all persons: and therefore I think it good for me to avoid all company, and thereby to eschew all occasions of trouble, contention, and anger.
But now, O Lord, I understand my weakness in this point, For to flee from company, is not a mean to subdue anger, but rather to cover, and hide mine own imperfection. And therefore I will from henceforth carry ever with me a mind ready prepared to live not only with the good, but even with the wicked also, and to keep peace with such choleric, wayward, and forward contentious persons, as do abhor peace. Thus I purpose from henceforth to do: grant me thy grace therefore O almighty God, that I may duly accomplish this my good intent. If others shall take my lands, or goods away from me, grant me thy grace O Lord, that I be not angry nor grieved therewith: seeing I see thee thus spoiled, and naked, upon the Cross. If they shall take my credit, honor, and estimation from me, let not that cause me to break peace with them: seeing I see thee here O Lord, so despised, dishonored, and contemned. If my friends and acquaintance shall forsake me, let me not therefore be confounded, seeing I see thee thus left alone, and forsaken not only of thy disciples, and friends, but also of thine own heavenly father. And if it shall seem to me at any time, that I am forsaken of thee, yet let me not for all that lose my confidence, and trust in thee: seeing thou didst not lose thine, but after thou hadst made an end of saying those words. My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? Didst forthwith recommend thy spirit into the hands of him, who had forsaken thee: saying: O Father into thy hands, I commend my spirit. And therefore even now at this instant I request, that from henceforth all troubles and persecutions may come and fall upon me, and not to spare me, forsomuch as all such things can do nothing else unto me, but give me occasion to be a follower of thee my sweet Lord, and Savior Jesus Christ.
But now (O my Lord) what if the troubles and persecutions shall be very great, and long, wherewithal shall I then comfort myself? For thy passions although they were very great, yet it seemed that they continued not any long time, forsomuch as all the martyrdom of thy passion did not continue altogether twenty hours. Now he that hath been ten years bedridden, or lying in fetters in hard prison, or in continual necessity, trouble, and dissension, within his own house, and family, what comfort shall he find in thee for so long a combat, and tribulation? Answer (O Lord) I beseech thee, unto this demand, forsomuch as thou art the word, and the wisdom of the father. Tell me whether thou be the universal comforter in all miseries, be they never so long? Or else whether we need to seek any other comforter for them? Verily O Lord, we have no need of any other comforter, but only thee. For undoubtedly the cross whereon thou didst suffer, was not a martyrdom of one day only, but it continued all thy whole life. For even from the very first hour, and instant of thy most holy conception, there was represented unto thee, both the cross, and withal all the cruel bitter pains, and torments, that thou shouldest suffer upon the same: and so thou hadst them all continually very lively set before thine eyes all the days thou didst live here on earth. For like as all things both past, and to come, were present before the eyes of thy divine understanding: even so also were all the martyrdoms, and instruments of thy passion. There were the cross, the nails, the scourges, the thorns, the cruel spear, with all other thy most bitter pains, and torments, at all times as lively present before thy sight, as when thou sawest them with thy eyes the very same Friday, that thou wast crucified on the Cross. We, though we suffer never so great, and extreme pains, yet we have always some time of ease, either by means of physic, or other comfort: by thy pain was always in a manner continual, or at the least it did very often times torment thee in thy soul, during the time thou didst live here in this world. And albeit this consideration of thy bitter torments, and passion, had not tormented thee, yet was the very zeal of thy fathers honor, and desire of the salvation of our souls, a continual torment unto thee: which undoubtedly did eat, and rent thy pitiful loving heart, and was a more cruel martyrdom unto thee, than the very death itself. Whereunto was also added the obstinate malice, which thou sawest in that rebellious people, (the Jews:) and withal the stubborns and ingratitude of all other sinners, (for whose remedy and redemption thou wast sent) which would not help themselves with the benefit thereof, nor yet acknowledge the time of their visitation. This was the cause of those pitiful tears, thou didst shed upon Jerusalem: and hereof rose the complaint thou madest by the Prophet Isaias: In vain have I travailed, and in vain have I consumed my strength.
Wherefore O my soul, thou hast here with whom thou mayest keep company, and take comfort in thy long pains and troubles. For although the last pains, and torments, of the holy body of our Savior were short, yet were the griefs, and pains, of his pitiful heart and soul very long, and continual.
OF PRAYER AND MEDITATION 